Time, you vex me.  You elude me like a child playing tag.  I zig, you zag, you bob, I weave.  No matter how well I treat you, you always leave.  They say you are like sand in an hour glass, but here in Mudville, you are like the West Texas sand blowing in the wind.  How can anyone fathom that you are cruel, when it is with exuberant joy that we drink from every second we share with you.  Some would deem you cruel for the manner which you hide your scheduled departure from each of us, but as has been said about life; one should not cry because life (or time) is gone, celebrate that life (or time) was here at all!  CELEBRATE!  Enjoy the moment!  Carpe diem!  Strike while the iron is hot!  There is no time like the present!  Why put off until tomorrow what can be done today?!  Each and everyone of these cliches is prodding us to take the opportunity that is before us while we can.

And so I do.

I call my son and I call my daughter and I've even been better about calling some of my siblings.  I spend time with my mom, but I don't just spend time with her; I strive to amuse her.

This morning we were each doing our own morning "get ready for the day" dance.  She comes in with her sweat suit on for therapy and she is asking for help with her sleeve.  The liner gets twisted and she can't get her arm all the way in to the sleeve.  I turn her around and straighten her jacket, then I ask her to hold her arms out like she is on a cross.  Gullibly, she holds them out without thinking and at that point I tickle her ribs and she squeals.  A cute little girl squeal with just a  faint hint of laughter erupts from her lungs.

It is all I need.  I hope it makes her morning.  With that being accomplished it is off to the routine....with a smile on our faces.

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A few weeks ago, Mom and I were invited to a St. Patrick's Day party.  It was hosted by a few fellow catholics (who have been hosting this shindig off and on for forty years).  We went, we mingled, we had a beer or two (or three or four), we took some photos and I got to hear a few stories about my dad from people who knew him from forty years ago.  One gentleman was telling me about the first time he met dad at a church volleyball outing.  He spiked the ball on my dad's head and my dad asked him if he wanted to fight.  Yep, sounds just like my dad.  I got a laugh out of it and got to meet some nice people.
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Time, I steal my moments with you.  Little moments when no one else is looking.  We flirt, we laugh we just relax with one another.  Nowhere to be, nothing to do, just the two of us enjoying each other while we can.

Senior moments and scallywags

I am now finishing up my fourth year back in Mudville, having come back to help care for my mom, and some of the moments we share from day to day are just so funny that I can't help but laugh. At the same time it is these very moments that make me feel just a bit sad having to watch my mom go through them. It is part of life though and we cope as best we can.

Recently we were getting ready to leave the house early on a Monday morning. I was scooping up the last of my junk I carry on a daily basis and mom was already headed for the car. I was turning out lights and making my way to the front door and I get there to find her trying to unlock the front door with her keys.....

....from the inside.

There is no key hole on the inside, just a deadbolt. I am grinning like a Cheshire cat, speechless, just grinning. I reach past her and turn the deadbolt and let her out. I lock the door behind us as we leave and take her to her physical therapy session. Once I get to the office, I email my sister to relay the funny moment.

The worst part about this whole situation is knowing full well that my mom, having to endure this natural aging process and the onset of forgetfulness and confusion, is now very vulnerable to my two less unscrupulous brothers who share her home with her. She may be sweet and kind and generous, but that doesn't mean that they won't use it to their advantage. How one would take advantage of the same little old lady who opens her home to you is beyond me.

Another day and another adventure.

Long time coming....

Has it really been this long? Where have I been and what have I been doing to keep me from my duties for so long? Why such a substantial break in the posting of the pleasantries?

Pull up a chair, grab a cold one, sit down and let me tell you all about it.

Since the 1st of September of last year, we have seen my children come and go a few times, my mom travel to Florida to meet her sisters, an entire rugby season pass by, a complete bathroom remodel, a puppy pass and a new year start.

Mom met with her sisters up in Michigan for a wedding and again down in Florida for a week on the beach. That is (from left to right) Betty, Bridgit, Bonnie and Bubbles. Some sweet ladies. Wish I could hear the stories they have to tell. From growing up in the North, migrating to Texas, marrying and scattering, raising families and becoming empty- nesters and grandmothers; I'll bet they have loads of great memories to share. I have interviewed Betty once (to be posted still), and would love to interview the others as soon as I get the chance. However, geography works against me, in that regard.

I am told that they had great visits at both locations, playing games, having a stiff drink and swapping laughs and memories well into the nights.

Thanks to my incredible sister and my goofy brother for helping my mom get to see her sisters.

On a more somber note, Rucker the puppy got out of the yard and wound up on the bad end of a collision with a car. He now rests under the front tree with my boy, Brutus. It made for a sad weekend, but life goes on and we have. He will be missed, though.

The new bathroom looks great. Pictures of the process are in the works. And the rugby season has come and gone. The Bard sings about it elsewhere, but for now, suffice it to say, we went 3 and 7 and fared okay with plenty of room for improvement and some new faces.

That's it for now. See you in a couple.

I looked for you all morning....

....but you're just not there.

Every now and then I remember when

those times we shared, we cared, we dared.

And even though you're not here

I see you in my mind so clear.

Most days it brings a smile, some days a big ol' tear.

As this crazy life keeps keeping on

and we all dance to our own song,

I find myself searching this crowded throng

of people for a glimpse of you....

a glimpse of you....

a glimpse of you....

a glimpse of you.

I don't want mounds of silver and gold.

I don't want heaps of treasures untold.

I don't want to drive a big fancy car.

I don't want to travel either near or far.

I don't want to try to hang the moon.

I don't want to be called home too soon.

I don't want to conquer this world.

I just want my little boy and my little girl.

I just want to shake my dad's hand,

hug him tight and say, "I understand."

I just want to share a beer

with my friends who can't be near.

I just want a little more time

to spend with you....

to spend with you....

to spend with you....

to spend with you....

to spend with you....

What I Want

by stu pidasso

1Sept2010

I find my kids come and go as they please like a....

Bumblebee

by stu pidasso

16July2010

Oh, you damned bumblebees!

You flit, you dart, you come so close

with your humming, buzzing melodies.

Then you disappear like a ghost

You catch my eye

as you fly by.

I follow your every move.

Your dainty, deft dancing

is beautiful, I must confess.

The way you seduce each flower

in your black and yellow dress

should be a crime

in any one's time,

but we all love your groove!

Yes, my sweet bumblebee,

You, solely have grasp over this father.

I will watch you from glen to lea,

so as to admire my wonderful daughter.

I'll offer up my hand,

on which, for you to land.

I swear I will not move.

Statuesque, I will stand,

even if stung by she whom I love!

I will endure, as is planned,

by The One sitting high up above.

I will play my part,

until your heart

is given to a man to lose.

So fly away, oh bumblebee!

Seek out each and every bloom!

Take in all that this world can offer thee,

then come home to rest, I have the room.

I will stay steadfast,

here until the last,

patiently awaiting to hear news of you.

I dreamed about dreaming while sitting at work

Trancing
by stu pidasso
14June2010

I stare into my coffee cup
Vivid mental images in my head
Days gone by or days wished to be

Hand sketches and vendor blueprints
piled like pick-up sticks on my desk
waiting patiently for attention to details

Hodgepodge of school portraits and paperclips
pushed from reach into the corners
beckoning for a touch or spare glance

But my mind flip flops, cartwheels, barrel rolls
through space and time to other dimensions
ripping at the fabric of present day reality

a summer day in mountains at a boy scout camp
an autumn morn in piny woods watching deer
a winter train trip to Virginia for a Xmas holiday

I see my kids in everything around me
I dream about the "what if"s and the "if only"s
I long for time and opportunities to come again

but reality strikes back hard
The Boss says, "Don't screw it up this time."
I let her paint a room and he gets to go zoom-zoom

Driving lessons and house repairs
two teenagers with summer jobs
an evening cooking a meal together

it isn't slaying dragons or riding unicorns
it isn't scaling redwoods or the Himalayas
but it is moments together, shared and enjoyed

life may be slower than I dream
but it sure is sweet when dreams come true
a movie and doing dishes sure can make me smile.

I can't keep it in any longer...

Incomplete
by stu pidasso
25May2010

Its as if I have
a phantom limb.
It haunts me.

I can feel it,
but I can't see it.

I get tingles
as if fingers are
traipsing
back and forth.

I can smell
the sweet aroma
of the flesh.
So close I can
almost taste
the perspiration.

I can hear
the scritchity
scratch
of fingernails
across skin
far to dry.

If I were to be
pinched,
would I feel
it?

If I slept
too long
in the sun
would it burn?

I feel as I have
lost a limb,
but it was my
family,
and I just don't feel
like me anymore.