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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The two days I die......

September tenth has come and gone
and again I'm reminded of how I went wrong.
Sixteen years and countless tears,
as I watch you grow from afar.
A strong young man with a smile so grand
and a future just waiting to be planned
I rue the things I chose to do
and how I made your mother blue
but what can an estranged father give
to his son to help him live
what gift would mean enough for him to forgive
Photos? Memories? Money or more?
the keys to unlock a sports car door?
A second chance? a fine romance?
A limo and tuxedo for a prom dance?
A dog to be man's best friend?
A family heirloom to cherish until the end?
Or just my time and a few rhymes?
Or authentic sorrow for my crimes?
Or no more than a birthday wish
that we get to chill while we fish?
Son, I know that I am not there
but I see your face everywhere
and I tear my flesh and rend my clothes
and beat myself with remorseful blows
as I miss you more than any and all knows.
The worst is that, as I get through this
tis not the lack of peaceful bliss
but knowledge that as this too shall pass
another day approaches fast
fourteenth of October brings again
the memories and pain of my sin.
And as most celebrate a birthday date
not seeing yall's is my torturous fate.

3 comments:

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

May your heart be healed as your son continues to grow...and may his heart heal as well.

I promise you, love is bigger than any wound. Been there, done that...and so has ThatManiLove.

Stu Pidasso said...

Thanks, Janie. Just wish they weren't across Texas. Hugging him and spending a day with him would be so much better than a phone call or a card.

angie said...

Absolutely heart wrenching. I hope that he reads this and knows how much you love him? Forgiveness isn't easy, but I hope that he is able to forgive you. AND, that he has a wonderful birthday.