She prompts me to write (and I love drawing on my life experiences to do so). Let's cut through the chase and get down to the meat of this thing!! I give you a fictionalized day in the life of Francis, Michael, Will, Andrew and Anthony.
The boys hated babysitting. It was bad enough they had to endure these brats they knew as little brothers, let alone take care of them. But what are a couple of teenage boys to do? They had explicit instructions from mom and dad to keep a close eye on their brothers, so no one would get hurt or into trouble. But as they sat around the house pondering the social scene at the youth hall, their active imaginations got the better of them.
"What if we were to isolate the brats so they can't get into trouble? asked Francis.
"I dunno, as long as they are safe and out of harms way, I guess that would be okay." replied Michael.
"Then we could go hook up with the guys, and as long as we are home before mom and dad, no one else will know." said Francis.
"I'm down with that, fo shizzle! What do you have in mind?" queried Michael.
"For starters we can put Will under the sink in the kitchen. Andrew can be locked in the footlocker, but we will have to make sure he can get air." suggested Francis.
"And we can put Anthony under the toy box, there is no way he can lift that thing." added Michael.
"Cool. You get your bicycle chain and padlock, I'll empty the toy box and footlocker." said Francis.
"How are we going to get the brats to get into these things without a fight?" asked Michael.
"The same way I get them to make me sandwiches when I am hungry, kick their asses." sneered Francis.
"Yeah, I guess. Works every time, huh? Well, let's get this ball rolling." suggested Michael.
They take a little time and effort to get their pieces in place, but all goes as expected for them. With the three younger brothers playing a really cool game of "Prisoners Of War", the older two siblings set out for their rendezvous with the other local kids at the nearby junior high school. After an unspecific amount of time has elapsed, they return home to find all the doors and windows to the house locked.
While they were away, the prisoners escape!! Anthony sits in total darkness under the wooden toy box. Will sits in the cupboard below the sink. He is peering out through the small amount of space which the doors will open under the slack of the chain and lock. He is watching Andrew, who is latched into the footlocker. Andrew is getting restless with this game and has started kicking and thrashing about.
"Hey!! You almost popped the latch on the footlocker. Kick it again and try to undo it!!" squeals Will.
Bam. Bam bam. Bam bam bam. the kicking finally works, and Andrew crawls from the footlocker. He surveys the scene in the kitchen. The older siblings have used toy wooden building blocks to wedge the toy box against the footlocker and wall. A quick kick to the blocks and Andrew is able to tilt the toy box off of Anthony, freeing him from his incarceration. The two of them turn their attention to Will.
"Oh. They have you chained and locked under there. Do you think we can pick the lock (I think it was a key lock??)? asked Andrew.
Anthony replied, "I dunno know." (he was young, very young)
"Get dad's hacksaw out of the utility room. We can cut this chain. It isn't real big." begged Will.
Andrew and Anthony head outside to get the saw. They return with the required tool, and make short work of the imprisoning item. Having freed all the prisoners, they turned toward securing the compound. They checked all the windows and locked all the doors. They even wedged the doors shut, which the others were sure to have keys for, using their ingenious little minds to get the task done. Then they ate and watched television. Will and Andrew even exacted some revenge by peeing on cherished items of their oppressors. But then, right around lunch time, the oppressors returned.
"Hey!! The door won't open." exclaimed Francis.
"That's strange. Let's try the back." added Michael.
"This one is locked, too!! Look the brats are loose. How did they get out?" cried Michael.
Time passed as the older boys tried any and every trick they could think of to get in the house. Eventually they used the lamest trick they could muster.
"Come on guys, I really need to use the bathroom. Let us in and we'll forget about this whole thing." begged Francis.
Against their better judgement, the three younger brothers relented and gave access to the older boys.
"Now you are in for it!! Who sawed my chain in half??? You are all going to get the treatment now. Get under that sink." growled Michael.
Abandoning their separate (but equal??) prison quarters, Francis and Michael relegated the three younger boys to one temporary jail cell. All three boys were placed under the kitchen sink, locked inside the cupboard, and treated to several minutes of hot water flowing through the drain pipes. After which, they were chastised for escaping in the first place, assured that they were being watched, threatened with even harsher punishment if they escaped again (or tattled to the parents) and left locked up again.
All was as the oppressors wanted it to be, until Dad came home early from work. Let the beatings commence.
This post was brought to you by the letters "F" and "U", and is dedicated to Francis and Michael (don't trust me to watch your kids!!).
4 weeks ago