I looked for you all morning....

....but you're just not there.

Every now and then I remember when

those times we shared, we cared, we dared.

And even though you're not here

I see you in my mind so clear.

Most days it brings a smile, some days a big ol' tear.

As this crazy life keeps keeping on

and we all dance to our own song,

I find myself searching this crowded throng

of people for a glimpse of you....

a glimpse of you....

a glimpse of you....

a glimpse of you.

I don't want mounds of silver and gold.

I don't want heaps of treasures untold.

I don't want to drive a big fancy car.

I don't want to travel either near or far.

I don't want to try to hang the moon.

I don't want to be called home too soon.

I don't want to conquer this world.

I just want my little boy and my little girl.

I just want to shake my dad's hand,

hug him tight and say, "I understand."

I just want to share a beer

with my friends who can't be near.

I just want a little more time

to spend with you....

to spend with you....

to spend with you....

to spend with you....

to spend with you....

What I Want

by stu pidasso

1Sept2010

I find my kids come and go as they please like a....

Bumblebee

by stu pidasso

16July2010

Oh, you damned bumblebees!

You flit, you dart, you come so close

with your humming, buzzing melodies.

Then you disappear like a ghost

You catch my eye

as you fly by.

I follow your every move.

Your dainty, deft dancing

is beautiful, I must confess.

The way you seduce each flower

in your black and yellow dress

should be a crime

in any one's time,

but we all love your groove!

Yes, my sweet bumblebee,

You, solely have grasp over this father.

I will watch you from glen to lea,

so as to admire my wonderful daughter.

I'll offer up my hand,

on which, for you to land.

I swear I will not move.

Statuesque, I will stand,

even if stung by she whom I love!

I will endure, as is planned,

by The One sitting high up above.

I will play my part,

until your heart

is given to a man to lose.

So fly away, oh bumblebee!

Seek out each and every bloom!

Take in all that this world can offer thee,

then come home to rest, I have the room.

I will stay steadfast,

here until the last,

patiently awaiting to hear news of you.

I dreamed about dreaming while sitting at work

Trancing
by stu pidasso
14June2010

I stare into my coffee cup
Vivid mental images in my head
Days gone by or days wished to be

Hand sketches and vendor blueprints
piled like pick-up sticks on my desk
waiting patiently for attention to details

Hodgepodge of school portraits and paperclips
pushed from reach into the corners
beckoning for a touch or spare glance

But my mind flip flops, cartwheels, barrel rolls
through space and time to other dimensions
ripping at the fabric of present day reality

a summer day in mountains at a boy scout camp
an autumn morn in piny woods watching deer
a winter train trip to Virginia for a Xmas holiday

I see my kids in everything around me
I dream about the "what if"s and the "if only"s
I long for time and opportunities to come again

but reality strikes back hard
The Boss says, "Don't screw it up this time."
I let her paint a room and he gets to go zoom-zoom

Driving lessons and house repairs
two teenagers with summer jobs
an evening cooking a meal together

it isn't slaying dragons or riding unicorns
it isn't scaling redwoods or the Himalayas
but it is moments together, shared and enjoyed

life may be slower than I dream
but it sure is sweet when dreams come true
a movie and doing dishes sure can make me smile.

I can't keep it in any longer...

Incomplete
by stu pidasso
25May2010

Its as if I have
a phantom limb.
It haunts me.

I can feel it,
but I can't see it.

I get tingles
as if fingers are
traipsing
back and forth.

I can smell
the sweet aroma
of the flesh.
So close I can
almost taste
the perspiration.

I can hear
the scritchity
scratch
of fingernails
across skin
far to dry.

If I were to be
pinched,
would I feel
it?

If I slept
too long
in the sun
would it burn?

I feel as I have
lost a limb,
but it was my
family,
and I just don't feel
like me anymore.

Helping to "publish" a friend's long past work...

UNEMPLOYMENT

by HGW III

Sausage sizzling on the grill,

Hash brown potatoes, hot corn pone,

Hungry men consume their fill,

Remembrance of a country morn.

Biscuits floating in a sea of gravy,

Like ships of Nelson's navy;

Cups of black coffee steaming,

Idle oilfield workers dreaming.

Now the sun has chased the dark,

The air is warm and sky is bright;

The idle men go to the park,

There to sit and wait the dark.

Note: the picture is random, of an oil worker, from East Texas. As always, work on this site is original and subject to all copyright laws.

At this late state I'll hesitate to meditate, so please don't wait...

Gone Fishing.

Might return.

Dare to soar with the eagles

Most young men fight with their fathers, off and on, throughout their lives or at least at one point or another. Some of these relationships are more turbulent than others, but for the most part it is pretty common among all father/son relationships. My son is having his problems these days with the resident "father figure" in his home, just as I had mine with my father. We'll get back to my son, Miles, though.

The way my major argument with my father played out is very similar to what my son is dealing with right now. It boils down to a difference of opinions over priorities. When I turned fifteen back in high school, I was still involved in boy scouts. My father was a scout, my older brothers were all scouts and my younger brother was a scout. In fact, my father, my older brothers and my younger brother were all Eagle scouts, the highest rank you can achieve in scouting. Between them all, we had eight eagle scouts in the family. I would have made the ninth. The problem was that it was not a big priority to me.

The reason for that was that at the time I had found something else that captured my attention. Soccer was the thing that held my waking moments. I enjoyed soccer, I excelled at soccer, all I wanted to do was to play soccer and I was good at it. I ended up getting college scholarship offers to play. But my father wanted me to be an eagle scout. He even gave me an ultimatum. Finish your eagle scout or you will never set foot on a soccer field again.

So much for that. I still play soccer, but didn't finish my eagle scout. All my brothers let me know about it too. But I have to say, looking at the way some of my brothers have turned out (being eagle scouts and all) I am not so sure that being a member of the "eagle scout" group is all it is cracked up to be. Don't get me wrong, I know that I messed up. I know that if I could go back and change it, that I would finish that eagle work and get my rank. I know now that it would have been a small task that would have meant the world to my father and most of my brothers. For if I had gotten my eagle, we would have had nine eagle scouts in one family. That would have set the world record for eagle scouts in one immediate family. We would have gotten to go to Washington and meet the President. It meant a lot to my dad and I torpedoed it right out of existence. Never to be done.....ever.

Well, it took over twenty years to get over that fight, but my father and I worked past it. I am not sure how he let it go, but he did. I just wish I could get it and show him I got it.

Hind sight really is twenty-twenty.

So, now back to my son. He is wicked sharp. Sharp enough to not study and still ace his tests in school. And as much as I and his step father tell him his grades count for a lot, he doesn't feel the need to focus on them. I now how my dad tried to communicate with me to get his ideas across and they didn't work too well. So I am trying a different approach to my son. I hope it works.

It would depress me to know that he had the same regrets that I do later in life over a failed communication. So to all you dads out there, don't give up. Keep talking to your boys and love them no matter what. I know I am going to do so.