Writers Workshop - Glass

I am soooo depressed. I have no idea why, but some days you just get in a funk. Maybe, it is because I feel dirty and used. Maybe because I feel half empty. Maybe it is because people treat me like I am transparent. I dunno. I mean, last night everything was going fine. There were a ton of people here, we were all having a good time. There were drinks everywhere. Wine glasses with merlot, shortballs with scotch straight up, shot glasses with the tequila flowing. Some idiot even pulled a "Flick Nynn" (tequila shot, snort the salt, squeeze lime in eye; WHOOOOOOOOOAA!! BABY!! THOSE BURN!!) The poor fool was hacking salt out of his nasal cavity for an hour and squinting like Popeye for almost as long. The party went on and on into the night. Eventually people started wandering out into the night to head home and Shaggy and Batgirl were doing some late night straightening. Tables got wiped down hastily, food got wrapped and stowed, drinks were poured into the sink and dishes put in the washer. Finally they cleared out up stairs to the Batbed.....and left me all alone down here in the dark. ALONE. FORGOTTEN. A.B.A.N.D.O.N.E.D. it was like they didn't even see me over here in the corner under the lamp that hasn't worked in ...I dunno...how long?! sometimes it is enough to make you contemplate......no, no can't think of that!! Well, I am reaaaaaallly close to the edge here. Screw it, I 'm jumping.


C R A S H!!


ooooooooohhhhhhhh. Sheesh that didn't feel good. Damn carpet!! Well at least they'll have to clean up the mess in the morning.....crap here comes that poodle.


Thanks, Mama Kat, puuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrr! I really like these workshops and some are pretty challenging..


Saturday, I will post about the pictures on the TUESDAY CAPTION CONTEST. Everyone has until Saturday to submit entries. Angie, I still haven't seen where to send this CD. Ask Melissa and Wendy if they like theirs (for references). I did buy two of the new Jack Johnson CD. I listened to mine already and it is on par with his other releases. If I can find one more song of his like "BUBBLE TOES", it will have me dancing on my hardwood floors for long hours into the night. And "MUDFOOTBALL", is still my pick-me-up before rugby games..


Gotta go for now. Have a good day all and God Bless.

Tuesday Caption Contest

As I said in yesterdays post, Shroom is only one of my many nicknames. That is just from one rugby team with which I played for a few years. After spending my time with that group of guys, playing and bleeding, winning and losing, being carried home drunk and carrying other drunks home, how can I shed the moniker which they were kind enough to give me. They are my "brothers", and I will remember each and every one of them for the men and characters they are as I hope they will remember me when we are all old and worn out and sitting around our campfires at the edges of the world spinning our tales about younger days and conquests and such. As much as I might wish for a more attractive or manly nickname, it is not to be; for I AM SHROOM!! Shroomzilla, Shroomeister, Shroom-a-loom, Shroomie, Shroomella de Ville, Shroom the hooker of doom, and the list goes on and on into infinity. Into an infinity for that one clique of friends.

So why and how do we get nicknames?? Are they a label of affection?? Are they tied to some trait that exemplifies us?? Are they the product of a certain isolated memory to help us grasp that one moment for the rest of our lives?? Who can give us a nickname and do we have to wear it like a scarlet letter or is it a badge of courage to be worn like an eagle feather given to a brave Indian warrior??

Let's look at me (as a case study, not an attention whore- which is totally different from an attention craving poodle as poodles are cute and cuddly - not that attention whores can't be cute and cuddly- darn!! I digress). Over my life time (in as best a time line as I can put together) I have been called by the nicknames: Jerry, Jerry Jerry Brown Berry, Cooter, Johnny Meg, Pooky (that is reserved for "She who must not be named"), Captain Controversy, Uncle Stupid, Buddha, Shroom, The Hulk, Tio Stu and Stewart "Stu" Pidasso. Most of these I know the origins for, a few escape my memory at this time (convenient, huh??), but I accept all of them. There are a couple in there which with I have no idea how I got tagged. Again, I digress. The point is are there or should there be rules governing nicknames (what goes into a nickname and who and when do you get them)??

So, this weeks Tuesday Caption Contest involves me and nicknames. For this weeks contest, you get to post your best zinger and/or new nickname for me from ANY of the above pictures or all of them as a collage. I am easy to identify in the top two photos, and the third one shouldn't be too hard; but I will give extra consideration for all who correctly identify me in the bottom photo. I am also allowing ALOT of creative leeway here, so use your best judgement to make me (and everyone else) LMAO!! Good Luck!!

Stuuuuu Pidassooooooo, come on downnnnnnnnn!!

Boy, Monday sure rolled around here quick. I am sitting at my mom's (helping her out for the day), trying to catch up on soooo many chores (the bills, the filing, the account balancing, basic cleaning, etc..). This much needed break is being put to blogging use, and on this front I am behind in my list of "to do's" also. So let's get these things done in a neat and tidy manner.

First, let us announce the winner of last weeks Caption Contest. We had our best participation yet, and I am glad to announce that all who threw a caption up did a good job. It was hard to choose, but that's my responsibility. The entrants included:

Drama Mama and Rachael, who didn't submit a try but did show up and that gets a thumbs up from me!! Maybe they will give it a go tomorrow.

Melissa who submitted "Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight!" Which, when I see the mental picture, just makes me grin. You suppose this guy has a Viagra tattoo somewhere we can't see it??

Jori-o wrote in "Getting jiggy with it!" Same thing, I can see this guy dancing in my head or even funnier, on Ellen!! Hil.ar.i.ous.

But I have to go with Angie, who had "Made for shades." Which, I have to say, shades could take this picture over the top (think gawdy Elton John glasses)!! So Angie, comment me a list of three CDs you would like to have, an address to send one of them to and I'll get one of them in the mail to you as soon as possible. Great job all!!

Second, I just got called out by one of my peers. Seems I am doing something right on this lil' ol' site o' mine. Because, Melissa loves my blog. Now the directions say to thank the awarder (Melissa, I am glad you love my blog and hope you keep enjoying it, thank you so much for not only loving mine but writing yours which is in itself entertaining and inspiring). Next, I must nominate 7 blogs I love. I try to keep up with so many that I am actually hurting myself (the lack of sleep makes me delirious and then I find myself "coming to" in the middle of a rugby practice), and they are all pretty good which is why this is hard. But I would have to say that week in and week out I absolutely check out these seven blogs.

Sounding Forth
YourScrumhalfConnection
RanWithTheDevil,WalkedWithAngels
Matt, Liz and Madeline
LauraSalas
SarahGreenPhotography
TheFireAntGazette

Third, I've been blog rolled!!! Can you believe it?! I can't!! And I am not real sure how it happened. I mean, out of no where this stranger comes up to me in my comments section and actually has the nerve to tell me she is blog-rolling me!! I checked my pockets, looked around for my wallet and made sure my watch was still there. Is society really getting sooooooo seedy that the criminal element can assault you right there on the electronic web?? I signed in on all my financial accounts to make sure that no one else but the banking execs had gotten my funds (sure enough they had been back by the looks of my 401k). Wait a minute!!! Nothing is missing. HA!! Not much of a thief are you sweetie!? What in heaven's name are you blog-rolling someone for if you aren't getting any chedder?? Excuse me for a minute....(what? Blog-rolling is an on-line subscription?? oh, crap!!)....uh....sorry about that interruption folks, but my production assistant has just informed me that this blog-rolling is a good thing. Whew, that is such a relief!! I thought she was going to hit me in the head with a frozen trout!! Well, thanks for blog-rolling me Janie, and any one out there that likes good writing with some down home country flair should go over to SOUNDING FORTH and check out Janie and her wonderdogs, Zach and Zanna, for some great reading!! Now if you don't mind, I am going to go hold up my liquor cabinet and get some smokes.

And finally, last week, we (the entire blogging community, because Mama Kat doesn't discriminate) had another good set of prompts for the weekly Writers' Workshop. I chose to weave my responses to the four prompts all together in one omni-blog (I didn't really get the scrabble game prompt covered, but at least I worked it in there a little). It basically had to do with how I earned ONE of my many nicknames. WOW!! I had my best responses yet and received a plethora of comment love from many new on-line acquaintances. So tune in tomorrow for the Tuesday Caption Contest, which will deal with nicknames and more specifically the chance to win free music at my expense AND at my expense!!

The name is Zilla....Shroomzilla

OH,
The words, they swirl, they flow,
nimble fingers dosey-doh,
typing frantic by alarm clock glow,
until my work is done, you know.
now time to greet my soft pillow,
and off to work again I go,
to try to earn my weekly dough,
eagerly waiting the whistle blow,
like every other working Joe.
but such is life, ain't it bro?
can I get a big "FO' SHO' "?


This may come as a surprise, but I'd walk a mile for a new nickname.

While living in Fort Worth, I was feeding my secret rugby addiction in the evenings after work. I would go to the northwest side of downtown Fort Worth (the seedy side, where all the rugby players loiter between Scrabble games and Ellen airings) and engage in lots of anonymous, unprotected touch rugby. I was becoming a regular there and all the other addicts were getting used to me being around. After one particular evening of some really hot, wet touch rugby, I was taking the post-practice recovery pretty hard. We played at a park that was kind of ignored by the parks department, because they were scared of the types of people who frequented the area (ruggers' reputations precede them many places, being the vicious scrabble players and dancers that they are), consequently the grass was unkempt and quite long. After my customary "blowing chunks" display, I laid down (collapsed?) beneath the massive oak tree on the side of the field and tried to catch my breath (while picturing myself dancing with Ellen and Mama Kat on their award winning episode, "Blogging ideas for keeping lunatics entertained). All the rest of the "recovering" rugby addicts, were discussing which bar we were going to grace with our support group meeting. They wanted to, finally, invite me along for the meeting. It was a huge break through for me, as I was at last being accepted by my peers. So, there they were looking for me, as I lay under the oak tree in the long grass; and I could hear one of the guys (Fuen-dog) ask, "Where is that new guy?". To which another answered, "Maybe he is behind the trunk of that tree over there by that giant mushroom"?! That giant mushroom was all you could see of me and my belly over the top of the tall grass.

And that's how I got the nickname "Shroom".

This writer's workshop production has been brought to you by the letter "O", and the numbers four, two and zero!

For more fun, check out this weeks Caption Contest below, Mama Kat's for the Writers' Workshop, and Seven Clown Circus for Wordful Wednesdays.

Tuesday Caption Contest

TUESDAY IS MY FAVORITE DAY!!
Today, Tuesday is even more of my favorite than most.
Why??
I hear your plea.
Because nobody, AND I MEAN NOBODY, entered last Tuesdays Caption Contest.
I am at a loss. Really, I never thought that I would find so many people out there on the internet that didn't want to at least TRY to get free music. All you have to do is post a comment, funny or not, to have a chance at winning some great audible swag. So far I have run five, count them, FIVE contests and have only had two winners.
But I will not be discouraged!!
I am adamant in my pursuit of giving away some of the newest releases from YOUR favorite music groups!! I will not rest until I have personnally given each and every one of you a brand new CD!! Think of me as the al-Qaida of Santa Clauses!! I don't care if I have to hide in your bushes and slip it through the mail slot on your front door!! If I have to break your car window at the mall and hide them under your car seats, then I will deliver those new CDs to you!! If I have to surprise you in the park during your daily run and force you to take these CDs at gun point, so be it!! Please, please don't make me get violent in my quest to give away good tunes!!
So how does this make today my more favorite Tuesday than most Tuesdays??
Because I won and am treating myself to........drumroll please.........Gift of Screws by Lindsey Buckingham!!
Now, it is not that I don't like the latest and gretest of all the music being produced these days, but I want to give it away. I know, I know; he is crazy. Yeah, maybe so; but at least I am having fun doing it.
So help me out if you will. Email five friends, any five; hell they can even be your enemies if you would like. Just email them and tell them there is free music here.

Now for todays contest. You know the drill (or maybe you don't), post your best zinger for the photo above in the comments section, think of three CDs you would love to get for FREE, and then hope or pray that I pick your zinger as the winner. Or better yet, don't; because I am really enjoying Mr. Buckingham's latest release right now!!

See you over at Mama Kat's!!

My "ordinary joe" hero....Matt

Ode to Angels Two
Gerald E. White
20Oct2008

Have I ever seen an honest true angel before?
Might they each have two wings or maybe more?
Do they have a glowing halo around their head?
Do they really rush in where fools fear to tread?
Do they walk with us on this earthly Eden?
Are they here as I type, silently reading?
Do they hear our prayers and cries in the dark of night?
Do they carry our burdens with all their God granted might?
Do they still look as we remember them then?
Will they seem as strangers or long lost friend?
When we finally get called to Our Fathers home,
will we get to see them in heaven as we roam?
Can they still feel our hearts' fond undying love?
Are they known to dwell both here and above?
Who knows whether these answers are yes and or no.
Until I reach the Pearly Gates I surely will not know.
But until the day when I find my coffin I am in,
I say there are two angels here, and one is Madeline!
And the other, hovering just out of reach, is
Matt and Maddy's missing love, and her name is Liz.

I was just over here, and again I was just left amazed at how a "normal joe" can endure the loss he has while still managing the stress and chores he has on his plate. Whenever I am feeling a little overwhelmed, I go back to his site and see how Matt is doing, say a prayer for them and write to my kids in my journal. If I could go back to the day I was married, I would strive to be more like the kind of man, father and husband Matt is. Fuck and double fuck (you gotta read his posts to understand, sorry if I offend, but sometimes it is the only word that sums it all up)!!

The weirdest thing happened....

It's Sunday evening, just before midnight. I find myself chilling at my mom's. Dishes are done. Food is stored. Everyone else is gone home or down for the night. I go to the front room where mom sleeps, just to check in on her. The television is a little loud and is lighting up the room. I sit for a minute in the rocking chair. The movie is not bad and I stay for a moment (don't get many of those, do you ladies??). My mother starts in her sleep. It is such a big twitch, that it almost gets me on my feet. She is still asleep, but her jerks are quite frequent now that I am watching for them. It is like watching my dog chase rabbits in his sleep. I have no idea what she is dreaming about, but it has her moving pretty good. After a few minutes of watching her sleep, I finally notice that her feet are bare. I move to the bed and cover them, tucking them in with a little air but tight.

WHOA!!! WAIT A MINUTE!! I JUST TUCKED MY MOM IN FOR BED!!

That was sureal.

I can remember driving back and forth from the metro home to sit with my dad while he was withering away, but this is my mom. There is some family history there that I will get into later; but if I can do that for my dad, then I can sure as hell do it for my mom. My dad and I hashed out a lot of differences between us while he was bedridden, and I must admit that he was an asshole. However, he loved my mother and all of us kids. He did the best he could (as well as we all can on the run under pressure all the time with kids in tow through the snow uphill both ways). He did better than good, he did damn good. He was still an asshole, though!! But my mother......my mother was a saint. She put up with his machismo military way of life. She endured his stupid attempts to gain approval in his father's eyes at the expense of his own bride, the choice of his own as a partner and mate. She bore him sons; many sons and one beautiful, gifted daughter. she helped deliver unto to him ten gorgeous grandchildren. She ignored the crude insensitive behavior which he ignorantly manifested into the young men and woman in his charge. She rose up and overcame the many hours of absence that he had in his work providing for the care and nourishment of the nine children (and then some). She is not just a saint, but a trooper. She would be Saint Michael himself, if she were an angel. But she is my mother. And as surprisingly delightful as I found it to tuck in my children when they were young, I melted this evening when I tucked in my mother. How is it we come not only full circle child parenting child; but child taking care of parent as parent took care of child?? I never saw this coming, but then again I never saw my father's passing coming either (and I watched him wither right in front of me). Was it naive wishful denial? Was it just plain stupidity? Was it being caught up in all the bullshit details of the daily life we all lead??

Wishful naive denial. I really think that's what it was with me. They were my lifeline, my comfort zone, home base, safety. I'm not sure, but when she is gone, I imagine there will be a huge void in my life that I just won't ever be able to fill up. Don't get me wrong. They will always be there, but just beyond touch or communication. I already have sooo many questions for the father that is no longer here, losing my mother (as is inevitible) will require me to find a whole new inner strength on which to base my resolve to help my family on my own terms and in my own manner. Heavy is the head that wears the crown, and I can already feel the weight.

But for tonight, I am just gonna watch my mom sleep and hope she is dreaming of something wonderful. I love you mom.